Co-parenting with someone you would rather forget is not easy. There is a reason the relationship ended and with that there are most likely negative feelings that have followed. Research shows that children who have both parents in their lives are happier and more successful. It is imperative that you learn to work together for their sake.
Make your child your focus. When you are intentional about doing what is best at ALL times for your child I promise you will make better decisions. Let your child be your inspiration and always consider what is the example that you want to give them in all of this? Your actions will leave a lasting impression. Keep your communication with your ex about the child and avoid rehashing your emotions it will not get you anywhere.
Work through your pain. You may have experienced a bad break up and don’t know what to do with your feelings under no circumstance should your child become your confidant or therapist. Children need to remain children. Keep in mind they are going through their own transition. The healthier and happier you are the more support you can offer them.
Come to an agreement. Whenever possible I recommend having conversations with your ex early on about your child’s daily life and things like bedtime, discipline, introduction of new relationships, etc. The more consistency between the two homes the better your child will adjust. It is best to put it all out on the table in the beginning than have ongoing issues. Including a counselor into this process can be very helpful as they can serve as an unbiased mediator.
Learn to compromise. This may be the most difficult of them all. If your relationship ended it is likely that the two of you don’t agree on everything and that’s ok as long as you remain respectful of each other and try to do what is in your child’s best interest. In co-parenting there is no such thing as black and white so try and be flexible. This will allow your child the opportunity to experience both parents creating a sense of normalcy which is what a child needs to feel well-adjusted and happy.
You may have lost your relationship but you still have the opportunity to give your child the best of both worlds. Don’t let your unresolved feelings get in the way of your child’s best interest.